As fall arrives, many families find comfort in traditions that blend remembrance with celebration. This season, we explore tender ways to keep your child’s memory close during Halloween and Day of the Dead—honoring their spirit while bringing light to your family’s autumn days.

Remembering and Including Your Child in Halloween

Halloween can be bittersweet after losing a child—the costumes, laughter, and pumpkins remind us of moments that feel both near and far. But even in the ache, there are gentle ways to bring your child’s memory into the magic of the season.

You might carve a special pumpkin in their honor, using their favorite color or symbol instead of the usual orange. Place a candle inside to glow for them on Halloween night. Some families add their child’s name or initials to decorations, or hang a small photo ornament on the porch or by the candy bowl.

If your child loved dressing up, wear a piece of their costume or let siblings include something that reminds them of their brother or sister. Create a “memory candy bowl” filled with their favorite treats and share a story each time you pass them out.

Last year, in honor of Mary, we included her in one of our favorite things—our walks along the trail. We made small trick-or-treat bags filled with the candies she loved most and little notes sharing who she was. As we walked, we handed them out to others—our own version of reverse trick-or-treating. It was our way of spreading awareness, but more than that, it was a way to remember her joy, her love for Halloween, and to keep her light present in the world she adored.

You can also visit a favorite spot—maybe a park, a trail, or even their resting place—with a small lantern or jack-o’-lantern to share a moment of light.  Día de los Muertos also gives families  a special time to honor and remember and anyone can celebrate.

Honoring Your Child During Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

Día de los Muertos is a time to celebrate the lives of those we love who have passed, not through sorrow, but with color, warmth, and remembrance. You can create a small ofrenda (altar) for your child filled with photos, their favorite snacks or toys, and bright marigolds to symbolize the path of love that connects you. Add a small pumpkin, a piece of Halloween candy, or a trinket that captures their personality to blend both celebrations.

Share stories, play their favorite songs, or light candles in their honor. The act of remembering in joy—of speaking their name and celebrating their spirit—helps keep them part of your family’s story, woven into every season that follows.

However you choose to remember your child this season, know that there’s no right or wrong way—only what feels right for your family’s heart. Every gesture, every light, and every story shared keeps their love alive.

Until next time…Love you, Miss you, Mean it